Every week I devote one day to a long run. It’s usually on a Saturday. It’s usually my favorite type of run. It’s usually at a minimum of an hour. I look forward to it every week. Even on my work weeks I will miss out on sleep, but not my long run. Today those feelings of appreciation and enjoyment were not to be found.

It’s a holiday weekend. Happy Easter. So of course our itinerary is a little bit more busy than usual. Friday was grocery shopping. Then Friday night we have our bimonthly game night with the in-laws. By the time I crawled into bed it was late. I was exhausted. Poor sleep from being on nights during my work week. Poor sleep Thursday from just trying to switch back to days. Then a long day of errands. I felt ran down.

Saturday we were to drive two hours down for my brother’s and sister-in-law’s baby shower. I knew I had to wake up early if I was going to get my long run in. I am not currently training for a race, so I have been keeping my long runs at an hour. I set my alarm for 5 am.

When the alarm went off and my husband hit snooze, I didn’t want to get up. Alarm rings a second time. He again hits snooze. I peel myself from the bed and gather my gear. I stumble through getting dressed. I sit down with my pre-run eggo waffle and coffee. Of course I feel the normal dread before the run. I really want to go back to bed. I know once I get started I will fall into a groove and cruise it out.

I felt so out of sorts. I just skipped my warm up. Figured I would warm up in the run. I couldn’t decide on a Peloton class. I was going to do just a run and listen to a podcast only to realize my podcast was a rerun that I already listened to. I could not get myself in the right head space. I started anyway. Ran then walked. Ran then walked. My shorts riding up. My right knee felt off. Most of all my mind felt off.

All of a sudden I felt sadness that this will be my long run for the week. Full of disappointment and dread. I was going to do walk/run intervals for the whole hour at this point. I couldn’t bring myself to feel good in this run. My shorts were also really making me mad. Just stay down! I hit the 20 minute mark then hit the stop button. This could not be my long run. It was awful.

I know not all runs will feel great. Some I will dread from start to finish. Today I had the opportunity to move my long run. I won’t always be able to do that. For my mental well-being, I am calling today a 20 minute shake out and tomorrow will be “long run Sunday”. Fingers crossed for a better mind set tomorrow.

On a happier note. This weekend we had decided to add ducks to our growing little farm. We currently have a dog, two cats, two fish, and a bunch of cattle who roam the hilltop. We thought ducks would be a sweet Easter surprise for the littles. We went to a couple of stores and came up empty. We tried for a third time and I spied four little ducks. Except not ducks, geese! Clint and me shrugged our shoulders and said “why not?” We brought four sweet little goslings home. They are currently in the basement under a warming lamp. We can’t wait to see how they grow!